Greetings

Hi Everyone, If you had told me nine years ago that I would have Ovarian Cancer, and be writing a blog to share my thoughts about it, I would have thought you were crazy!  Yet here I am, hoping to connect with others whose lives have been touched by Ovarian Cancer, and share my own experience.  My hope is to reflect on all that cancer cannot take from us, as well as on the power of hope and positive thinking!  I have Cancer, it doesn’t have me.  All of us who are touched in some way by this illness are so much more than the Cancer we face.  It is just one part of our lives.  It does not define who we are.  We cannot ever give it that power. As a way of introduction I will start at the beginning so that you know my own personal circumstances.  Nine years ago I had pain and cramping on my right abdominal side, and went to my gynecologist, who ordered an ultrasound to investigate.  It was a cyst that would disappear on its own.  No problem.  Except that the ultrasound also found a tumor on my left ovary.  I remember feeling frozen in time, wanting to “unhear” what the doctor had just said to me.  That was not to be.  I had no symptoms, no warning.  Long story short, I had a complete hysterectomy.  No follow-up treatment was indicated.  I went for my frequent check-ups and all was well.  A year later my CT scan showed cancer activity – a small spot in my pelvic area.  So off to surgery I went.  What was supposed to be a two hour surgery turned into seven, as they found much more cancer than they initially thought there was.  My surgery was followed by chemo.  Then all went well for two years, until a scan once again showed cancer activity.  Surgery and chemo followed.  I have an existing mass in my abdomen that is difficult to operate on, and is being controlled by chemo.  I am presently receiving chemo treatments.. By this time you must be asking “Where the heck is the hopeful part?!?!?”  Let’s get to that.  First and foremost, I am living my life fully.  I am doing fine.  I go for my monthly chemo and look on it as a chance to visit with my wonderful doctor and chemo nurse.  During chemo I take ukulele lessons, have reiki treatments, enjoy massage, and have acupuncture.  Mass General provides such wonderful ways to take the focus off the chemo and cancer and to honor the total person.  We must do that not only during treatments and appointments, but each and every day.  Sounds like my name should be Pollyanna, right?  Believe me, I have my dark times, my struggles, my physical issues with side effects – those days where no one should come anywhere near me!  When they come I do a great deal of “self-talk” to remind myself to get out of my own way and enjoy the moment I am in, even if the moment is being spent in bed!  I don’t have control over the Cancer but I do have control over how I deal with it. I am hoping to share my thoughts and feelings with you now and then, in the hopes that my experience might somehow help others.  I am in no way an expert on ANYTHING and do not presume to be so.  I am just trying to find my way. If I have to have Ovarian Cancer, I want to put it to use to help others if I can.  I am so grateful to Diane Riche and Ribbons to Remember (now Below The Belt Women’s Cancer Outreach) for inviting me to be a part of their amazing organization.  In the coming months I’ll share stories about my journey – everything from embarrassing moments, some funny experiences, birds, my Joy Jar, my own sometimes ridiculous behavior, affirmations, visualizations, frustrations, my family, my medical team, my treatments, the love affair I have with grilled cheese, and of course, my ongoing relationship with my bed. Sounds all over the place, doesn’t it?  Believe it or not, it’s all tied in with my cancer experience.  Hopefully you will be able to relate, to commiserate, and to laugh with me. We have to have humor.  It’s a key ingredient.  Sometimes it’s the only thing that keeps me sane (though the jury is still out on that!). ‘Til Next Time, MJ Keenan